^ This is participants at my book party doing The Shush Technique.
Learn about it in my book or in the free podcast interview linked below.
Perfectionism.
I told myself:
“It’s just because I want to do it well.”
“I’m better than that.”
“It has to be the best or I can’t let others see it.”
And it stopped me every single time.
From connecting. From creating. From trusting.
From sharing myself with others.
Here’s what you can do to feel Good Enough Now.
Years ago, my job was interviewing EFT experts on their specialities. Often I sought out topics that answered questions and requests from the group’s members. But I had been struggling with self criticism for my entire life and this one time, I created a topic that answered my burning question. I reached out to Aussie colleague Steve Wells. Steve had written quite a bit about our inner critic and how to heal it. What followed was a fascinating discussion on how Steve tapped every day for 30 days on every single criticism he had about himself. And at the end, he felt completely free.
It made sense. With EFT. we don’t avoid the painful thoughts and feelings, we tap on them.
I was in the middle of a stressful, all-consuming job, so I didn’t actually do what Steve had suggested. But my time to face the inner critic was coming…
(my story will continue in the next edition. Besides, enough about me!
Here’s What You Can Do:
1. Get Real About Perfectionism
Your mind will tell you, you just want to do it well. But if waiting until something is perfect enough is preventing you from moving forward, this isn’t about excellence. It’s about fear. Like any other problem, to heal it you must recognize it is indeed a problem.
2. Invite It Forward
I know. That voice has been beating up on you and it feels awful. It made you go out at midnight to buy more sprinkles so your daughter’s cupcakes would be just perfect. It’s been exhausting. But that voice has also been trying to keep you safe. It tells you if you finally just get it all right, no one will every say anything bad to you. No one else actually needs to. You’ve already got that job covered. So, you might as well listen. When the voice is active, say, “Tell me more.”
3. Tap on The Voice
(If new to EFT, you can get a great, free manual here, or read the Emotional Freedom Techniques section in my book.)
Now that the voice is flowing, telling you all the ways you and whatever you are working on needs to be better, better, better, you can tap on that voice. Forget the set up statements, Just listen and tap on all the terrible things it is saying. Keep going until the voice quiets or you experience a cognitive shift. An example could be, “I don’t need to go to the store. I’ll spread these sprinkles around and it will be fine.”
4. Get Vulnerable and Take a Chance
The next time your inner perfectionist is telling you what to do, do exactly the opposite. Wear the crummy blouse that needs to be ironed to the important meeting. Send out the email without proofreading 15 times. Go on that date without mascara. What you will realize is:
you didn’t die and the world didn’t come to an end.
You didn’t get fired. (Okay, so maybe your boss raised her eyebrows.) No one cared about the misspelled word. If things progress with your date, they will see you without mascara eventually anyway. And may even prefer you that way.
You’ll get in a very real way that your standards for yourself aren’t anyone else’s standards for you.
And honestly, even if everything you presented to world was perfect in your eyes, there will still be people who’d be happy to disagree. To find fault. To pick apart. And you’ll know, wow, that didn’t destroy me either. And the more times you encounter it, the more you will strengthen your resolve and know that:
Good Enough is Good Enough
and
Finished is Better Than Perfect
(and probably a bunch of other cliches I’m forgetting at the moment,
but, hey, I’m a good example of this stuff in motion! LOL)
If you struggle with feeling good enough, this is something I’ve spent the past couple of years researching and healing, in myself and others. I’m doing one heck of an all day healing experience, locally this Saturday, and online next Saturday. Don’t go it alone. Join me and some wonderful people who are also tired of not feeling they are enough. It will be transformative. Details below.
NEW WORKSHOP!
First time taught in the US and ONLINE
Ready to feel…
GOOD ENOUGH NOW
Not feeling good enough has become a world-wide epidemic.
This belief is crippling and leads to unhealthy relationships, under-earning, anxiety, perfectionism, and difficulty moving forward.
In this life-changing workshop, experience cutting edge transformative processes to release this belief and FINALLY feel Good Enough Now!
Includes:
- Instruction not taught anywhere or by anyone else. Leave with a fast, comprehensive, brand new way of healing all limiting beliefs.
- Powerful group healing exercises
- Breakouts
- Ritual with fire!
- and detailed hand out
IN PERSON in South Orange, NJ:
Saturday, May 18th, 10:00 AM – 4:00 PM
(limited to 6 more people)
- OR
ONLINE:
Saturday, June 1st, 9:00 AM – 3:00 PM
$150.00
To register:
Email info@krisferraro.com and let me know which date you’re down for.
I am asking for some grass roots support. Please help me get this book into the peoples’ hands who truly need it.
Here’s a few ways you can help:
1. Spread the word by email and on social media. Send a link. Share the book trailer, below. Take a picture with the book and post it. Let people know: This. Stuff. Works.
2. Buy a copy for a friend or teen in your life. This book is designed for beginners and one of my teen clients gave it 2 thumbs up. (And trust me, if he didn’t like it, he would tell me. LOL) It’s written very conversationally, with easy step by step instructions. Help get this into the hands of people who don’t know about these practices.
3. Read it and write a sincere review on Amazon AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. If Amazon sees a number of reviews, it will boost the book’s visibility. Mention what you think could be valuable to a potential buyer. And if you do this, please email me and let me know!
4. Consider reading it with a group. Your family, a few friends, your social network. If you do, I’d be happy to make an online appearance to give instruction and answer questions, no charge.
5. Ask your local bookstore or library to order it.
Please know this will mean so much to me and I thank you in advance!
© 2019 Kris Ferraro. All Rights Reserved.
Happy Healthy You Podcast Audio
I was recently interviewed by health and yoga expert Connie Bowman. We went DEEP and I shared some practices from the book.
Kris Ferraro is an International Energy Coach, Speaker, and Teacher. She compassionately helps clients transform their lives, specializing in the areas of Self Esteem, Relationships, Anxiety, Spiritual Issues, Grief, Creative Blocks, and Stress. You can find her at www.krisferraro.com.